True Love : Connecting to the Intimacy of All Things

Our hearts are tender organs housing the seeds of our truest desire, our deepest yearnings, our most intimate requests. It’s the instrument of connection, compassion, creativity and the space with which we sense our intuitive knowing. Because of such, it can be a tremendously vulnerable feat to expose these delicate aspects of ourselves, and becomes even more challenging in matters of romantic love. But, why is this so?

It’s an interesting paradox that I find many, including myself, struggle with: this deep hunger for intimate connection, and a vast resistance of fully accepting it. Afraid of diving and not being caught; panged with the remembrance of love lost in the past; not knowing what it means to allow the fullness of our tender hearts to be held in a safe and honest way; the list goes on. Instead, we create remarkable walls that keeps us nicely protected from that which we so crave.

Recently I was talking with a dear friend about our experiences in the land of love. As we shared our desires, struggles and sorrows, she reflected back a point that changed the way I view the intimate relationships in my life: how can we grant all of our connections the same reverence we impart to our lovers? This means communicating our needs, our affections, our loyalties in an unguarded, transparent approach that clears up any complexity and ambiguity. I’ve surely had a fair few lovers run to the hills when the question of “what am I to you?” or “where do you see this going?” comes up, and I’ve certainly clammed up at this inquiry myself. I’ve found that these types of responses are wonderful defenses to shielding aspects of ourselves we’re not fully capable to express - yet.

What if we brought these same questions to our friend and family relations? Would the same hesitant response still arise, or might it offer a new channel of conversation that would actually bring more richness and open our capacity for deeper connection to those parts longing it?

And let us not overlook the immense, unrelenting flow of affection offered in every moment. How the world around us begs to be noticed, tasted, touched, and doted upon just as earnestly as any ardent lover. Be it your morning coffee, the kiss of rain on your bare cheek, noticing the erotic union between the bee and a bud, the way you make your art, your bed, your souls work, we can make deep passionate messy love with all aspects of our life. By doing so we start to recognize that our carefully constructed walls contain windows and doors with which Eros is sure to enter.